Daddy, Don't Become a Morris Dancer!
A lump came into my throat as Iclimbed up those stairs And I went to kiss my
But when I looked into those big brown eyes
I saw there were tears where she'd been crying,
And I didn't know the reason why.
I said "what's the matter, Chardonnay",
Why have you been crying ,
Has someone upset you? has your puppy died?"
"No, daddy,"she said, "I've just had a really bad dream
And you were in my dream and everything seemed so real.
"Tell me all about it", I said. "After all it was only a dream."
"Daddy," she said to me. "I'm nine years old now and I'm not going to be
your little girl for
very much longer. Why, in five years time I'll be a totally revolting obnoxious
in the backside, and you… well you'll be going through one of those difficult
your life and…well, daddy I want you make me just one promise before that
you promise, daddy?"
Well, sweetheart, you know I'll do anything to make you happy, so what is
you want me to make
And I couldn't stop those tears welling up inside when I heard my little girl
words to me
Daddy, don't become a Morris Dancer,
Don't show me up in front of all my friends
Oh, the embarrassment the grief,
To see you waving those handker chiefs
Daddy, please keep a way from those Morris men..
Daddy you can do anything you want to
Take up fishing, snooker, jogging or Tai Chi
Join the Ford Capri owner's club, brass band, Liberal Democrats or the Gilbert
You can even help to re-enact the Battle of Naseby,
Or maybe if you like
Buy a powerful motorbike
And make believe that you're just turned eighteen,
But don't go getting your kicks
Clonking with their sticks
That would be so desperately sad you see
So Daddy, don't become a Morris Dancer…
Yes, those teenage years going to be are difficult times,
Where one has to be concerned about one's image and everything's got to
wicked and cool n'stuff 'n y,know, whatever!
And though I may be a smatarse knowall,
Don't make me cringe ,don't make me feel a fool,
And want the ground to swallow me up whole,
Though I realise the role of a parent
Is at all times to cause the maximum possible embarrassment,
Even that stupid woolly hat's Ok by me,
But don't go getting an inkling
When you hear those bells a tinkling,
And put a tankard on you belt and sing "all around my beer belly"
Daddy, don't become a MorrisDancer,
Don't listen to that cry
Of that lonesome melodeon in the sky
Daddy please don,t join the MorrisMen
Cotswold or Border are totally our of order
Daddy, won't you do this one thing for me